I am indecisive. There, I said it. My mind freezes as soon as I am faced with a decision to make and it drives everyone around me crazy. I’m the worst person to bring to restaurants, especially those without drink menus. Why wouldn’t they have one? How am I supposed to know whether they have ginger ale or cassis or ice tea. Am I supposed to settle for a generic coke or fanta just because I don’t know what else they have? Are they going to force me to ask the waiter/waitress? It’s an introvert’s nightmare.
I don’t think I’m an introvert. I’m no extrovert either but I never understood the ‘needing time alone to recharge’ thing introverts seem to do. I really don’t need time to myself. I hate being alone. I want to be around people. But I’m no party person either. I think ambivert would best describe me out of the limited options I have.
Anyway, back to decision making. It should be obvious to anyone reading this blog that I can’t make up my mind. I keep changing things, never fully satisfied with anything. Just look at my posts; they totally lack consistency. Were I any better a person I would’ve stopped this nonsense and stuck to whatever decision I made last. Unfortunately for everyone involved I am not. I hope this will be the last major revamp of this blog but who knows, really? I won’t make any promises. In any case, I’ll try to make this last.
So first of all, I want to discuss my writing. I’ve grown a lot but I still need to improve and I desperately need a place to talk about everything I’m doing without the person I’m speaking to going crazy. At least here you get to decide whether you read on. I might post some short pieces I wrote over the years but I’ll mostly talk about my characters, the messages that can be found in my stories, what emotions I’m trying to convey, etc. And if my thoughts and processes turn out to be useful for someone else then all the better.
Originally I started this blog because agent blogs kept telling me I needed one if I ever wanted to be published so I did it and made some social media accounts but it’s not for me. I can’t force myself to write 140-character posts several times a day. I can’t even get one done every month. I’m one of those people who tends to rebel when they are forced to do things. Tell me I have to do something, even if I had every intention to do it before you told me, and I will do the exact opposite 9 times out of 10. If you want something done from me, ask me. That’s your best shot.
Now I’m going to do this my way. If I’m as bad at this as I am at keeping a diary this might very well my last post in months. But I’ll try.
Secondly, I want to share some recipes with everyone. I found some great ones over the years, some of which I perfected over time, and I want to spread the joy. My signature dish is carrot cake so I’ll be sharing that one soon, hopefully.
Thirdly, I might share some stuff I learn about at university or some thoughts I have on relevant contemporary issues. I’m quite involved politically and love sharing my ideas on these topics. I’m always open for requests (as long as they are reasonable) so feel free to suggest some. I also love debating about ideas so hit me up if you’re up for it. (I’m particularly passionate about feminism and will force you to be as nuanced as possible.)
I probably won’t open up too much about my personal life but there should be plenty of content that can satisfy your curiosity about me as a person. Knowing myself I probably won’t proofread any of my posts. I’m not inclined to do so, I find going over details a rather tedious task. I’m more of a broad picture type of person so expect leaps of thought rather than detailed explanations of how I came to my conclusions.
If you have any feedback on anything, feel free to share. While I hate people not liking something I say, think, or write, I do appreciate criticism. Without it, I can’t grow. I want to improve and if that means hearing how much my writing sucks 10 times every day then I’ll take it.
I ran out of things to say so I guess that’s that for now.
Have a story:
Fate of a Villain
Zachariah ducked just in time. A gulf of flames rolled right over his head, scorching some of the longer hairs on his head. Josiah, his arch enemy, had really upped his game lately. The number of attacks on his life had increased, and so did their danger. The blond had come dangerously close to killing him.
Zachariah had never exactly understood why Josiah had it out for him. They were both villains, with their own territory, and they respected each other.
The attacks started 7 months ago, without a warning. One moment they were discussing what to do with the humans, who were increasingly displeased with their treatment – he wasn’t too worried about them, they couldn’t do much against him and his army of villains, especially if he was to work together with the other villain leader. That was what the meeting had been about. – the next, before he realised what was happening, the blond’s face had changed and he barely managed to move out of the way, the fireball killing his second in command. Since then it had been war.
Now, 7 months of vicious attacks later, the amount of scars on Zachariah’s body had increased twentyfold. He had a nasty scar near his right eye from a booby trap in his bedroom. He had shot back, but not as viciously, as he had a soft spot for the man. He didn’t want to kill him, or even really hurt him, so he meticulously planned attacks that would scare him off without actually inflicting physical pain.
‘’Boss, are you okay?’’ his second in command yelled out as he hurried over to what once had been the lift of the apartment building but what was now reduced to rubble and metal scraps. He looked at the man in front of him and got up, not wanting to show the pain he was in.
‘’I’m fine, Micah, but it is time for us to devise a plan to stop Josiah once and for all.’’ He said it with such severity it brought chills to Micah’s spine, the exact response he desired from the man.
As the villain was laying out his plan to stop Josiah’s attacks, his messenger, Hades, burst onto the roof, heaving for air. Zachariah shot him a murderous look, a warning that it better be serious or he’d be in real trouble.
‘’The humans! They got one of us!’’ he managed to get out between gulps of air. The villains shot each other looks of surprise.
‘’Ours or Josiah’s?’’ the shortest villain of the group asked, his thoughts far ahead of everyone else’s. Zachariah’s heart started racing. What if it was Josiah? He wanted to bash in the messenger’s head for taking so long to reply.
‘’Josiah’s. Krim. He was an arrogant bastard, always showing off, so today they took him. He never saw it coming,’’ the messenger replied, and Zachariah let out a sigh of relief.
‘’Maddie, Joachim, go to Josiah. See whether he wants to work together now,’’ Zachariah barked at two of his younger villains. They seemed pretty harmless but they knew what they were doing.
‘’The rest of you, take whichever humans you want. We’re going to have ourselves a party,’’ he winked at the group, hinting at the massacre to come.
A cheer erupted in the crowd and they all flew, ran, jumped, or beemed away, to hunt their favourite prey. Zachariah himself sat down and floated about a foot above the roof, simultaneously making it comfortable for him to think and instilling awe in the petty humans who decided to wage war on their oppressors.
An hour later he felt a presence on the roof. He sensed it were the two villains he sent out to Josiah. He turned around and nearly fell onto the roof with shock. He managed to keep his cool, though, and stayed afloat. The two were barely alive. Their clothes were torn, Maddie had bald spots between her thick salt and pepper coloured hair, Joachim had a deep gash running from his left clavicule all the way down to the hem of his boxers. Maddie seemed to be missing a large chuck of flesh from her right arm, and her legs looked so much like spaghetti bolognese Zachariah was surprised to see her still standing.
‘’Josiah,’’ was all Joachim said before collapsing. Zachariah rushed over and felt his pulse, not finding any. He was dead. He ran towards the apartment the main medic of the villains lived and smashed through the window. Too late did he see the trap set for him. The air seemed to explode in front of him and his world went black.
Zachariah was mad. Completely pissed off. He was currently on his way to fight Josiah in person. The bastard had gone too far. Two of his people were dead because of him, and he himself had lost an eye in the explosion. He was raging with fury, burning everything that got in his way, leaving behind a trail of dead humans, animals, and car cadavres. The lower ranking villains didn’t dare stop him, and the higher ranking ones were almost as angry as he was. It was time Josiah got what he deserved. They were not going to get in Zachariah’s way when he set out to do what they all wished they could do themselves.
He finally reached the villain’s lair and threw a fireball at the gate. The guards scurried off to warn their boss, leaving Zachariah to contemplate which to kill off first. He decided to blow up the one further ahead, to make a bigger impact on the other one. In no time Josiah was out and the two started their battle. His followers attempted to joint he fight but he blasted one away and the rest got the message. It was a fight between the two leaders. They yelled profanities at each other between blasts.
Suddenly a wave of water flooded the lair, immersing the blond villain. Zachariah looked around him confused and spotted a human. Before he could do anything, electric current ran through the pool of water, electrocuting the drowning villain. Zachariah, angry beyond anything anyone had ever seen, sent out a cloud of fire from his skin, burning everything within a 5 kilometre radius. The heat vaporised the water the villain had been submerged in, leaving him within an inch of death.
Zachariah ran toward him and gently took him in his arms. A tear ran down his face.
‘’I-I’m soh..’’ the dying man started to say. The dark-haired man kissed his forehead, one of the very few unblemished parts of the villain’s skin. A calm smile settled on the blond’s face. Zachariah cherished the moment. Then he stood up. If the humans wanted war, they could have it.
He enhanced the volume of his voice and spoke a message to everyone on the planet. ‘’YOU BROUGHT THIS ONTO YOURSELVES. I’LL BE MERCIFUL. YOU GET FIVE SECONDS TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVED ONES, A CURTESY NOT GIVEN TO MYSELF.’’
He took a deep breath. He channeled the beast he had leashed inside him. All the years he spent trying to tame it, kill it, cage it, all would be lost now. He took a last look around and let it all out. Within a second, the entire earth was in flames.
– End –