Pretty Face

Hi guys, as usual you can find a poem at the end of the post.

I’ve been so swamped with work I’m not allowing myself to write. It’s not writer’s block, nor am I stuck because I’m out of practice; I’m just unable to produce anything because of the looming deadlines and the stress related to those. Probably also the stress unrelated to those deadlines. Life’s hectic.

As such, anything I upload will be old. I’m honestly not 100% sure about this poem, whether it’s any good or if it even makes sense at all, so if you have any thoughts, please leave a comment. I could use some feedback (on all of my work, always, but now in particular).

As for good news, I’ve recently figured out my level in Korean, which is intermediate. Whether this means B1 or B2 I don’t know (though I suspect B1) but I’m happy to have at least some clarity. It’s just enough to keep me motivated. There are days when I think learning Korean is the most difficult thing I’ve ever endeavoured and there are days that I think it’s actually not so bad. I’m still not sure which it is.

For any of you who are also confused about their level, this is how I did it: I went through the TTMIK grammar lessons and realised 1-4 were easy, 5-6 were doable, and 7-9 were challenging; I had a cursory look at all the grammar on keytokorean and realised I knew 90% of their lower intermediate but only about 10-20% of their intermediate and upper intermediate sections; I checked TTMIK’s iyagi for beginners series and realised it was very easy; I received the ebook version of Real Life Conversations in Korean for beginners for the Blonote review in an earlier post and found most of it quite easy; and finally I noticed my listening skills have improved quite a bit by listening to Korean music (kpop, hiphop, punk, etc) and watching dramas, films, and variety shows.

But what really helped was watching one of TTMIK’s advanced lessons (election, praises, working) while downloading it to check the sound because I realised I understood most of it. It felt so goooooooood. Maybe it’s weird that I get such a kick out of learning new things, whether they are languages or other skills, but I don’t see the harm in it and I’m eager to continue this journey of self-improvement.

Btw, I recently found those little packets of gim/kim/ I used to get all the time when I was in Korea but which were seemingly impossible to come across here in the Netherlands. I was so pleased with myself and have since been recreating all my cheap student dishes. Last night for dinner I made rice with danmuji (that yellow Korean pickled radish), gim, and eggs sunny side up (but properly cooked through because I don’t like them runny), with a piece of salmon and some green beans because I can indulge occasionally, and it was so good. I’ve added sushi nori to my rice before but it just wasn’t the same because it lacked the seasoning or something, I don’t know. It’s great for sushi/kimbab though.

Anyway, without further ado, enjoy the poem. (Btw while proofreading it, Pretty Girl by Sugarcult started playing in my head, which makes no sense because they’re not really similar, aside from the ‘pretty’):

Pretty face

Pretty face, such a pretty face

Take one look in the mirror

Tell me what you see

Are you happy?

Are you free?

Those beautiful eyes

Do they speak of pain?

Do they speak of sorrow?

Have you suffered??

Tell me now

 

Oh what I wouldn’t give

To have that face

Even for a day

 

If I wore it

Would it change a thing?

Would I be happier?

Would I be worth it?

 

What are you hiding

Behind that pretty face of yours?

Let me, please

Walk in your shoes

Wear your face

That perfect jaw

Do they all swoon?

 

Your pretty face

If it were mine

Would it make a difference?

 

So broken, ever wounded

Is it just me?

 

Your fame, your riches

The attention that you get

Is it worth coveting

When I’m still me

Despite this pretty face?

 

In exchange, would you wear mine?

Would you spend a day

Living this life of mine?

 

That is my fear

My pretty face

Seeing it on you

Smiling, laughing, exuding joy

If you were me

Wore my pretty face

Would you be a better me?

A happier me?

Would it change a goddamn thing?

 

I am you, you are me

Will we ever be us?

 

So I don’t

I never take your face

Your pretty face

When it’s yours

You’re to blame

 

You’re you, I’m me

My misery my own

But never my fault

 

Be my safety blanket

This protective shield against change

It’s not me, it’s you

With your pretty face

Would it not be better

To simply kiss that pretty face?

 

The day I am worthy

I’ll be ready to wear your face

Knowing I’d smile

The way I saw you

When you wore my face

And I wore yours

 

That future day

If it ever comes

I’ll be a better me

So the need to be you

Walk a day in your shoes

Wear that pretty face

Will have disappeared

Like the kiss I left

When you weren’t looking

On that pretty face

That pretty face of yours

Forever mine

to be loved

to be missed.

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